Through and Through

It’s starting:

That feeling I cant describe,

Not that I can describe much.

It’s different this time,

Your touch has become my touch.

The energy flows through you and into me

It’s exactly how I thought it would be

This time it’s real. This time, for sure.

But I don’t even want the cure.

You sleep and I am energized

You wake up, and I open my eyes

When I fall your knee bleeds

And what I’m lacking, you don’t need.

Home is just a place,

But I see it in your face

And not to be cliché,

But I couldn’t go a day

Without you.

Through and through

I love every piece of you.

Every broken promise,

When you’re brutally, painfully honest.

Each meaningless "werd"

Is the best I’ve ever heard.

The way you look at me

As if you cant begin see

The desperation in my eyes

To believe your little lies.

It’s perfectly imperfect.

And every minute, hour, day is worth it.

Through and through and through,

You know it’s nothing new,

It has, and always will be you.

Game Over .

Take it all back, everything.
You didn’t mean it.
Not like I did.
You just ran and hid,
When there came a rainy day.
No matter what you say.
And I, left in the cold,
Not heeding what I was told.
My heart drops to the ground,
Like a still and lifeless mound-
No use to me anymore,
Because after all, it was yours.
A mass of useless flesh,
My mind, a broken mess.
But you did not break my heart,
As I told you from the start:
It’s impossible.
I wont give you the satisfaction,
Nor the laws of false attraction.
It was yours, but I controlled it.
Just go ahead and hold it.
You can’t hurt something if it’s already dead,
And no it’s not just in my head.
You killed it long ago, you know when.
I suppose that you’ll just go then.
What you’re doing now is cruel,
You think you’re helping, I suppose.
Just leave it there to decompose.
Didn’t they teach you not to play with your kill?
As if I’ll be reincarnated by your will.
Why, so we can play again?
Game over, and you finally win.

nothing lost if nothing gained

What we had was good, but we don’t have it anymore
I wouldn’t go back if I could, it opened so many doors
You see when I left it changed me, everything was clear
What you did, it trained me-I hold nothing dear
No, nothing is sacred. Nothing lost if nothing gained.
And there’s no unresolved hatred, or love or tears or pain.
I have this nagging, pulling, empty, powerful sensation
Nothing fills or satisfies or begs justification.
Now and again I question whether this is really living
But I leave that unanswered, either way I’d be fibbing

S.W.E.R.ve

I saw you across the concrete,
Blank stare, hair neat.
Lips parted, longing for the last cigarette, the one you smoked hours ago;
No doubt in anticipation of this very moment.
Somewhere far from here-far from us,
A car door shuts,
And as it does we are alone,
As if the portal to the world we built together had just been sealed once more after all this time.
With us on the inside.
With nowhere to hide;
Not from one another.
Because we built it to escape them.
But in the end you chose to escape everything.
When you ran from me you ran from you,
And there was nothing I could do.
You know me (or you did), I’m not the type to chase.
Right now, I can’t find you in that face.
So dead, so uninspired.
You’re not the man I once admired.
The mouth that scoffed at fear
The voice I couldn’t wait to hear
The eyes I could get lost in,
The jab that was just “tossed in.”
I saw you across the concrete,
Blank stare, hair neat.
And I turned the other cheek.

the spark, the love, the vow, the end.

spring had sprung,
the pear blossoms hung
and the breeze was perfect.
your hands were steady,
my heart was ready
and together we leapt.
as the sun fell,
the waves swelled,
and we retired.
bound, forever-
not to sever,
everlasting fire.

‘cause we vowed:

when the flame, it dies
with the love in our eyes,
and finally we reach our hearts’ demise
we will press on.
even if one of us was wrong.
we’d start anew,
and that’s what we do.
you grew, I grew
there were things we worked through,
things I never thought I could,
things I never understood.
and now, years later, here we stand,
hand in hand.
I’m laying next to my best friend
the spark, the love, the vow, the end.

try .

[To know is not enough
But I don’t know, you’ve said nothing.
Just the hint, convenient]

I pull all the weight.
There’s nothing in return.
Besides the hope one day you’ll stay,
That maybe one day you will learn
What it’s like to fall for someone
Who doesn’t quite fall back
For your world to come undone
And then to pick up all the slack
To think about the future,
While longing for the past
To rip out all the sutures
And to break free of the cast.
To try and try and finally somehow muster up the strength,
To love again although they never go the extra length.
And now it’s my turn,
I’ve waited long enough
You will never learn,
And I’ve finally given up.
There’s no use now looking back, or hating or resenting.
So I’ll just repeat the cycle and forget the happy ending.

storybook.

you and me
that was all
no one else
that I recall
but looking back,
I see my faults.
you had to go,
to watch me fall.
and yes, i know,
you have needs too
i'm selfish, rude,
and never think about you.
you know it's all lie,
i probably never loved you.
no, that's right, i made it up,
just to tear you down, to shove you.
now you're stuck, you're victimized
all 'cause you looked into these eyes.
and now im sorry, really am
but then maybe you deserved it
honey, i dont give a damn
so why should we even pretend?
well i'll leave you here in peace,
but you can't say i ignored you
cant say i have never tried,
can't say that i never adored you.
so, the book's left on the shelf,
waiting for some fool to find it,
to make her fall in love and try to find
another fool to bind it.